This is a card I made recently to honor the archetypal energy of Addiction that has been with me since I was very young, in one form or another. Addiction is a theme or pattern that has shaped my life over the years. This is different than my Inner Addict which is another card altogether (stay tuned!).
Addiction was a pattern in my family from before I was born- grandparents on both sides were alcoholics. This shaped my parents in that they didn’t drink a drop of alcohol, and the reason for it was always made clear to us.
I developed an addiction to sugar at a very young age and this has continued throughout my life until the past two years when hypoglycemia has had me facing my own addiction and coming to terms with it.
In my 20’s and 30’s I was in a serious, intense relationship with an alcoholic and this led me into 12-Step programs such as Al-Anon and ACOA where breaking free from my addiction to the addicted was a huge theme for me for many years.
So you can see that this Archetype of Addict has played itself out in my life in many ways.
Here is what this Neter said to me recently:
I am the one who has been with you from the beginning. I have colored your world with darkness and cravings and hunger and need and want. I am the one who seduced you into eating what your body did not need in order to satisfy the longing of your spirit.
I am the one who was trying to care for you by feeding your emotions instead of urging you to feel what you were feeling. I am the one who held you to me and convinced you there was no one else but me.
What I have to say to you today is this: remember our story. I am still present in your life but I have a different intent and purpose now. Now, when you feel me drawing you in, pulling you close… know that this is a signal that there is something out of balance, something that needs your emotional attention. And pay attention to that instead of toe me.
My best intention is to care for you. But you now know that caring for yourself involves honoring and feeling all your feelings instead of tamping them down with food. It is quite a journey we have been on all these years, you and I. Learn from it.