Today I am feeling a bit lonely and separated  from my SoulCollage Facilitator community. Today is the first day of the 4th International SoulCollage Facilitators’ Conference in Baltimore, MD, and I am not able to be there because of the health issues I’ve had this summer.

I am especially feeling lots of strong emotion right now because I worked for almost 2 years as co-chair of the Planning Circle team to bring this Conference to life, and today is the day that everyone is gathering for lots of SoulCollage workshops, ceremonies, learning, fun, joy, camaraderie and blessings of community.

So I drew two cards from my deck this morning to see what they had to share with me.  As usual, I got just what I needed!

Person huddled in orange blanket, fire, white/clear vases in background-

Untitled SoulCollage Card

I am the one who is warm, who is basking in the glow of the fire and flames in front of me. I am the one who is wrapped in the fiery color of orange, the color of heat and life and joy.  I am the one who is standing in front of vases and containers made of milk glass and clear glass.  I am the one whose back is turned to the fragile glass containers.  I am the one who is focusing on the heat, on the light, on the fire.

My message to you today is this: Even though you are alone, you are wrapped in the soft blanket of community warmth and spirit.  The fire you are focusing on is the same fire that those at the Conference are focusing on: the fire of passion for this process (SoulCollage) and this community.

Keep your back to that which is fragile and self-contained and will easily shatter.  Keep yourself wrapped in this blanket of joyful community and warm fire. You are not alone, never alone. Just keep the focus where it should be.

Crow Woman

Crow Woman

I am the one who is surrounded by crows- one is on top of the Book of All Knowing.  Many are flying in heart formation beside me. And I have warrior painted crows on my face and neck and chest.  I am the one who is adorned with, surrounded by and infused with Crow Medicine, Crow Energy. 

My message for you today is this: Crow is your Animal Medicine of the heart chakra.  Take some time today with sit with Crow as you meditate. Invite Crow into your imagery this afternoon.  Listen to what Crow tells you. Listen to what your Heart tells you. 

I know that you are feeling lonely today because you are not at the conference with everyone else. The secret to lifting this feeling of loneliness is to acknowledge it, welcome it into your heart. Crow symbolizes community and in your heart, know that you are connected to this SoulCollage community in the deepest, most visceral of ways.  You are not alone, dear one, you are part of Crow Tribe also.

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Before you read this entry, please read the entry directly below it, about facing my fears, and finding that inner part of me who IS fearless.

This article is about a reading I did with my deck. The question I asked was:

Who has wisdom to offer me about transforming my fear?

GRATITUDE

I wanted to be given some simple ways that, when faced with fearful thoughts and fear energy, I can “snap out of it.”  Here are the three cards I drew, and what each one said to me:

GRATITUDE

I am the one who leans back and opens my hands and arms to receive the gifts that freely fall from heaven.  I am the one who says Thank You, and often. I am the one who is surrounded by the light and voices of grace.

My guidance is to focus on GRATITUDE instead of fear. Gratitude transmutes fear immediately.  As soon as you hear the fearful thought(s) in your mind, replace it with a thought of gratitude.

Fear and gratitude cannot exist energetically at the same time in your mind or body.

There is nothing else you need to know!

CRONE

CRONE

I am the one who is in the last season of my life. I am the one who is healthy and strong and who creates colorful things, who lets birds nest in my hat.

Here is how to transmute your fears: smile, pay attention to the little things, and go create something that makes your heart sing.

*

BODACIOUS BOD

Bodacious Bod

I am the one who is in tune with my body and the energy of my body. I am the one who moves with joy and confidence.

Here is what I say about transmuting your fears: Stay in touch with your body. Feel your own physical strength.

To stay in touch with your body, you have to be in the present moment. In the present moment there is no room for fear or worry. None!

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I have to laugh… really laugh at the daily reading I just did with my SoulCollage® deck.  And my mirth is bubbling over, and I just have to share it with you!

Tomorrow morning I am leaving for three full days of an “Unplugged” retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, which is in Western MA, about 2.5 hours from my home.  I am feeling really excited by this opportunity to unplug, and reconnect to myself on the inside, so to speak.  The retreat I am attending is called “Writing the Mind Alive” and based on the Proprioceptive Writing process. Am so happy about bringing my own soul back into my writing.

But I digress… I am laughing because the two cards I drew today in my daily reading are all about solitude, rest, and going within!

Solitude

I am the one who curls into myself, who closes my eyes and goes within, who rests in the solid, secure knowing that I am safe, that the waves will not overtake me or wash me away.

I am the one who is at home tucked away in my soft, beautiful shell.  I am the one who is at home near the ocean, water.

I am the one who is watched over and protected by luscious purple divine growth. I am the one who is watched over while i sleep, protected while I go on inner journeys.

My message for you today is this… enjoy your Unplugged weekend.  Rest in the safety that accompanies all of your inner journeys. Breathe. Rest. All is well.

PERMISSION TO REST

I am the one who is content to just BE.  I am the one who doesn’t always have to be DOING something.  I am the one who gives you permission to rest.

It is not a coincidence that you drew these two cards today, right before your Kripalu retreat.  This is a retreat that you are receiving, not giving, not leading… but a retreat for YOU to receive.  Give yourself permission to rest while you are there. Give yourself  permission to receive.  Relax. Be still. Let go.  And see what comes to you.

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I usually draw two cards from my Deck every day, as a way to stay in touch with the inner and outer energies in my life.  Thursday was my 54th birthday and on that day I chose two really special cards.  These are cards I have not worked with since I made them, but cards that have special meaning to me nonetheless.

Anne Marie at 12

I am the one who is only 12 years old. I am the one who has been watched over since I was born. I am the one who has been guided and protected by these female figures of light. I am the one who is not alone, who has never been alone, who never will be alone.

My message for you today is this: These guardian beings are still with you today, right now. Pause. Close your eyes. Hear them. Feel them. Open to them. Happy Birthday!

Crow Woman

I am the one who wears crow paint, who is marked with the sign of Crow. I am the one who is protected by Crow Energy, Crow Love.  I am the one who looks ahead to the future.  My message for you today is this- you are not alone. You are guided and protected by deep Crow energy.  It is very strong in your life even though you may not understand it.  Be patient.  Open your heart as you look ahead to the next year of your life.

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Yesterday, after the new KaleidoSoul site was finally up and really running… I breathed a huge sigh of relief and release.  I felt the power of this huge transition in my life and in the life of this website which has been such a big part of my life for the last 5 years.  FIVE YEARS!

I sat and thought about that for a moment.

And then I just felt the inner urge to do a reading with my Deck, so I separated my cards into the four suits, and I asked this question:

Who has something to say about this momentous occasion of leaving SBI (the old web platform) behind and celebrating the new KaleidoSoul?

I drew one card from each suit and here is what each one said to me:

Maggie, Sad Woman (Committee Suit)-

Woman: I am the one who is sad. I am the one who is taking time to say goodbye to the old KaleidoSoul and the old way of doing things. I am the one who is looking back, behind, to the way it was.

Boy: I am the one who is facing the rising sun, forward, ahead. I am the one who is ready to surprise you with great love.

Butterfly: I am the one who has come out of the cocoon into full-blown beauty. I am the one who balances and swings between the past and the future.  I am the one who stays in the present.

Our message for you on this special day is this: It is perfectly ok to feel sad while saying good-bye.  This is the end of an era for you. It is also ok to feel happy and loving and excited about the future at the same time.  Just remember to balance yourself in the present moment and all will be well.  It is the end of an era and the beginning of a new era and you can balance all that that entails by staying present to what IS.

Fran, my former therapist

I am the one who encouraged you through the creation of the first KaleidoSoul! I am the one who taught you about feeling your feelings, about flying, about transformation, about going within, about self-acceptance.

My message for you on this special day is this: Congratulations and blessings. Take some time today to absorb what you have done, created, given to the world. Stand still, pause and bask in the glow of Spirit.  Know that all is well.

Little Brown Bird, Heart Chakra (Companions Suit)

I am the one who is building a nest in your heart. I am the one whom you tamed so I sit on your hand and sing to you. I am the one who brings you such inner peace and sweet joy.

My message for your on this day of celebration is this: Keep your heart open and expansive.  Practice your yoga breathing.  Watch me as I build this nest of self-acceptance and trust in your heart. And know that you are building a nest for others of rest and safety … that is what KaleidoSoul is to the world, you know1

Crone (Council Suit)

I am the one who is old and wise, who has created wrinkles on my face from laughter and joy. I am the one who is happy and content with myself.  I am the one who is still creating colorful things even though I am old. I am the one who doesn’t care if birds perch on my head.

My message for your today is this- Your website is a testimony to authenticity and inner wisdom, and that tickles me to pieces!  My crone energy is guiding you forward…you continually are becoming… you are moving through your years with color and grace and authenticity. I bless your work!

MY OBSERVATIONS AFTER THE READING

What I noticed about the cards I drew as I laid them out side by side and looked at them as a group:

1. Two birds and two butterflies and two hearts (not a coincidence, I think!)

2. For me, the birds are symbols of nesting, hatching, and flight.

3. For me, the butterflies are symbols of transformation, metamorphosis, new beginnings.

4. Also, butterfly is my 3rd chakra animal companion, and bird is my 4th chakra animal companion, which brings into my mind the Solar and Heart Chakras which speak to me about authenticity, radiance, unconditional self love and radical acceptance.

I feel very affirmed and blessed after doing this reading!

Another beautiful reminder that I always get exactly what I need when we ask my Deck a question and wait for the response!

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