Soul
Singing with Anne Marie |
Hi! I'm
Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com, and a
SoulCollage® facilitator in Massachusetts. If you're just starting
to sing your song with SoulCollage®, this column is especially for
you.
Archetype of
Addiction
Addiction has been a theme that has laced my life in various ways
since I was very small. My mother’s father and grandfather were
abusive alcoholics and she was affected deeply by their drinking.
The disease flowed into our family via my teetotaling mother, even
though none of us abused alcohol. Her pervasive low self-esteem,
fearful thinking and need to control affected me for many
years.
In my late 20’s I fell in love with Dan, a great guy who happened
to be (you guessed it) an alcoholic. Of course, I didn’t know that
at first, and by the time I realized it, I was deeply entrenched.
Thus began my personal journey with addiction- to the
alcoholic.
I found my way out of that destructive relationship five years
later via the grace and community of 12 Step meetings. What I
learned there was a new, solid, powerful sense of self. I found
that I wasn’t alone! I discovered a new relationship with Spirit,
as I understood Spirit. Those years of working the Steps were
filled with profound and deep inner growth, until I reached a place
of inner safety where I was able to let go of Dan, as they say, for
good and all.
My lessons in Addiction continued over the years as I helped my
husband Jeff deal with a few drug issues with his son who now is
healthy and a responsible adult and father of two beautiful boys.
During those "Stepfamily Years," I experienced boatloads of stress
and I found myself turning to food, particularly sugar. This
personal addiction continued through both of my cancer journeys,
until a few years ago when I was diagnosed as hypoglycemic. Low
blood sugar, I’ve discovered, is nothing to fool around with, and
the symptoms I experienced motivated me to let go of sugar as a
tool for dealing with stress of any kind. It’s taken me a few
years, and a lot more inner work (much of it involving the healing
process of SoulCollage®) to get to the point where, when I’m
stressed, I turn inward for relief, instead of to the cookie jar or
candy store.
Last year, in pondering this whole theme of Addiction, I decided to
make an archetypal card to represent its place in my life over the
years. For me, this is an archetype that grabbed me when I was
young, followed me into young adulthood and chased me through my
40’s and 50’s. Now, as I head towards my 60th year, I feel released
from Addictions and the lessons they have taught me.
My Council Suit Addiction card says: I am the one who
grabs you and seduces you with food, sugar. I am the one who
convinces you that you need external substances to handle inner
dissatisfaction and stress. I am the one who taunts you. I am the
one who takes your power away from you. I am the one who is like a
hungry beggar, always wanting more.
Anne Marie Bennett is a writer, self-taught artist,
website goddess, cancer survivor, and SoulCollage® Facilitator /
Trainer who was mentored directly by Seena Frost. In 2005, she fell
in love with SoulCollage® and was inspired to use her professional
experience along with Internet technology as a means to serve the
world by putting SoulCollage® "out there" in a really big way with
KaleidoSoul. Anne Marie
lives in eastern Massachusetts with her middle-aged husband, an
elderly dog and two adolescent felines who keep them all young. You
can read more about how SoulCollage® assisted her on her cancer
journey on her website SOS Cancer
Journeys.
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OUR NEXT
TELE-CLASS |
Goddess of
Never Not Broken (Archetype)
60 minute SoulCollage® tele-class
with SoulCollage® Facilitator
Nancy Norbeck in New Jersey.
Monday,
October 26, 2015
7 pm Eastern
Join Nancy Norbeck to explore Akhilanda, also known as
Akhilandashvari, the goddess of Never Not Broken. This Goddess
holds the energies of broken and whole, something that we
experience from the moment we are born. We will explore sources of
criticism, perfectionism and other shadow experiences to understand
the gifts that this Goddess offers. We will interact with these
concepts through a special creative process. Please bring a journal
and 10-15 cards from your deck that represent shadow and light for
you.
Easily Accessible from Anywhere in the
World!
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Guest
Columnist: Cat Caracelo |
I am Cat Caracelo, M.A., a SoulCollage® facilitator, depth coach and artist from Petaluma, California, offering my work individually and in global teaching forums. This column is for all of you who are exploring your creativity and are ready to discover more depth in your SoulCollage® journey.
Addiction Dragons:
Keepers of the Light
Addiction was not active in my early home life, but I was exposed early enough through community culture, books and movies. I had a burning curiosity about inner darkness and social complexities so I seemed to be attuned to seeing and feeling the edges of experience. Bright lights and dark alleys lurked as I moved through life. The pages of
Go Ask Alice captured me between fear and fascination when I was ten and the movie
Tommy fascinated when I was twelve. My desire to grow up fast seduced me like a moth to a flame. My teen years welcomed use and abuse, playing with fire to offset insecurity and fear of not fitting in. Although my drug-induced highs did not become physical addiction the serious use altered my experiences and danced me to the edge.
My personal experience with addiction (compulsion, desire, pain, shame) comes and goes and sometimes stays for awhile in the realm of food. The moth to flame time of my life brought self-soothing patterns and cycles of feeling/feeding that come to the surface still, especially during times of stress.
My experience with addiction also crossed over into my marriage with some long and scary years of addiction, substance abuse behavior and recovery with my ex-husband, some of his siblings as well as two of my children (from their teens to mid-twenties). Patterns of addiction have been present in my life and the lives of those I love, and so too patterns of recovery.
Recovery in our family become a language of learning to understand addiction, to dive into the depths of our own knowing and find new ways to love our self through pain, shame and fear. Addiction is an inside job and one of the things I had to learn was how to feel pain and how to honor the pain of those I cared for, as I moved out of their way.
Pain, control, and meeting challenge with compassion, fire and "no fear" was my ‘go to’
fierce wife and mama bear stance. Convinced that knowing as much as I could to meet needs and slay dragons became my quest. Compassion, always an absolute, virtually stripped me bare. More and more often I found it hard to give and love and hold it all. To tell the truth and feel the feelings when there are needs to meet, things to know, and shadows to chase from the corners of every room, was exhausting. Hyper-alert, watchful, responsive, I was doing my best to be everything to everyone. "We are our brother’s keeper" was a self-imposed family mantra. I thought if we did enough and remained attuned to subtle shifts on behalf of one another we could prevent the worst. Sometimes we did but ultimately addiction has its own path and each person must find his or her own way with it.
With crushing consequences some of our loved ones do not make it beyond the edge of playing with fire or acute addiction, those who do must cross the abyss and enter into the journey of self, recovery and beyond. We who are on that journey face the flame of their own lost light; those of us on the edge are left bereft and confused. Trusting enough to feel the pain is part of what guides us into a place of reconnecting.
These patterns and parts of my story I came to know though creative practice, art and ritual, SoulCollage®, myth, journey and shadow work. Finding images that met the raw and active experiences of my life allowed me a safe way to articulate my emotions and I begin to understand what was mine. Only then could I hear the truth, see the truth, speak it and claim it and let it light my way.
After many years it’s still hard to tell the raw truth about my addictions and reactions, yet I know now that the dragons are not there to harm me. They move close as keepers of my light, keeping watch over the vulnerable self, facing down shame until trust and love is emboldened.
They show me the way, as does my creative practice.
Cat Caracelo, M.A. is a Depth Coach, Artist and a SoulCollage® Facilitator, trained in 2007. Cat guides, coaches, mentors individuals and leads groups worldwide, incorporating expressive arts and transformative process into all facets of her offerings. Cat is the
author of
Gathering Wholeness: The Art of Identifying and Exploring Parts of
Self and the creator
of JourneyCircles™
Creative Mapping Process and Training. Her dynamic eCourse offerings and destination retreats combine thematic journeywork and art-as-process to explore personal myth. Please visit
Cat's website for information about coaching, classes, trainings and retreats.
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BUNDLE!
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Join the affordable and inspiring
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Upcoming SoulCollage® Online Workshop
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NEW ONLINE SERIES
with ANNE MARIE
Building a SoulCollage® Deck:
4 Suits + Transpersonal Cards
November 1 - December 6, 2015
Curious about how to create an actual SoulCollage® deck?
Wondering about the 4 suits and what each one means?
Want to experience more fully the "transpersonal cards?"
In need of a refresher course on any of these topics?
If so, this is the class series for you!
Visit this page for more info now.
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Upcoming SoulCollage® Retreats
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IRELAND
Exploring Inner and Outer Landscapes Mulranny,
Ireland October 11-17, 2015
Facilitator: Catherine Anderson & Lynda Griebenow
Using SoulCollage® and creative photography we will spend seven
days and six nights exploring our interior landscape. We will
develop "new ways of seeing" through reflection and connection to
the mystery and the wisdom of the land. Through guided meditation,
mindful photography practices, SoulCollage® and focused time in
nature we will immerse ourselves in creative process - nurturing
our imagination and spirit, sharing insights and the emerging
wisdom in sacred circle.
Visit
this page for more information now.
ENGLAND
Return to Avalon Goddess Retreat Glastonbury,
England April 26-May 23, 2016
Facilitator: Cat Caracelo
We are gathering again for Beltane in Glastonbury, England for
eight days in a beautiful restored farmhouse compound with a
stunning view of rolling hills and the nearby Glastonbury Tor. We
will be a small circle of women celebrating the rising Spring
energies of this sacred place, tapping into mythic connections with
visits to local and nearby sacred sites while exploring the ancient
history, lore and our own mythic roots through journey work,
SoulCollage® and expressive arts in our private studio space. Very
limited space and six payment plans are available!
Visit
this page for more information now.
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CONTACT US
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Soul Songs
Back Issues - Read back issues of Soul Songs on this
KaleidoSoul page.
Just look for whatever SoulCollage® topic you are interested
in,
and read to your heart's content!
SoulCollage® is a trademarked process created by Seena B.
Frost.
For more information about Seena and the origins of SoulCollage®,
please visit her
website
SoulCollage® cards are made either from one's own art or
from images found in materials which have been bought by or given
to the SoulCollage® card maker. These collaged cards are used only
for the cardmaker's own inner exploration. SoulCollage® cards are
not sold, traded, bartered, or copied (except as a back-up for the
cardmakers own use) as is stated in the "Principles
of SoulCollage®." Where SoulCollage® cards are available to
be seen by others, it is for the purposes either of demonstrating
the SoulCollage® process or of sharing the cardmakers' inner
process in the context of community. SoulCollage® is grateful to
the artists and photographers who make this deep awakening process
possible and in all ways SoulCollage® seeks to be respectful of
their rights.
All articles in SOUL SONGS are copyrighted
2015,
by Anne Marie Bennett and
Catherine Anderson, Cat Caracelo,
Imelda Maguire, or Linda Woolfson.
Articles may be reprinted by permission
only.
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