Soul Songs: Your SoulCollage NewsletterSoul Songs
Your SoulCollage® Newsletter

Enabling us to sing the songs
we were born to sing
through the practice
of SoulCollage®
Issue #124   October 2015 Theme:  Addiction
Welcome!

Greetings, and welcome to Soul Songs, the official KaleidoSoul Newsletter, and the only monthly newsletter that focuses exclusively on SoulCollage® ideas, resources and artists.

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Soul Singing with Anne Marie
Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com
Hi! I'm Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com, and a SoulCollage® facilitator in Massachusetts. If you're just starting to sing your song with SoulCollage®, this column is especially for you.



Archetype of Addiction

Addiction has been a theme that has laced my life in various ways since I was very small. My mother’s father and grandfather were abusive alcoholics and she was affected deeply by their drinking. The disease flowed into our family via my teetotaling mother, even though none of us abused alcohol. Her pervasive low self-esteem, fearful thinking and need to control affected me for many years.

In my late 20’s I fell in love with Dan, a great guy who happened to be (you guessed it) an alcoholic. Of course, I didn’t know that at first, and by the time I realized it, I was deeply entrenched. Thus began my personal journey with addiction- to the alcoholic.

I found my way out of that destructive relationship five years later via the grace and community of 12 Step meetings. What I learned there was a new, solid, powerful sense of self. I found that I wasn’t alone! I discovered a new relationship with Spirit, as I understood Spirit. Those years of working the Steps were filled with profound and deep inner growth, until I reached a place of inner safety where I was able to let go of Dan, as they say, for good and all.

My lessons in Addiction continued over the years as I helped my husband Jeff deal with a few drug issues with his son who now is healthy and a responsible adult and father of two beautiful boys. During those "Stepfamily Years," I experienced boatloads of stress and I found myself turning to food, particularly sugar. This personal addiction continued through both of my cancer journeys, until a few years ago when I was diagnosed as hypoglycemic. Low blood sugar, I’ve discovered, is nothing to fool around with, and the symptoms I experienced motivated me to let go of sugar as a tool for dealing with stress of any kind. It’s taken me a few years, and a lot more inner work (much of it involving the healing process of SoulCollage®) to get to the point where, when I’m stressed, I turn inward for relief, instead of to the cookie jar or candy store.

Last year, in pondering this whole theme of Addiction, I decided to make an archetypal card to represent its place in my life over the years. For me, this is an archetype that grabbed me when I was young, followed me into young adulthood and chased me through my 40’s and 50’s. Now, as I head towards my 60th year, I feel released from Addictions and the lessons they have taught me.



My Council Suit Addiction card says: I am the one who grabs you and seduces you with food, sugar. I am the one who convinces you that you need external substances to handle inner dissatisfaction and stress. I am the one who taunts you. I am the one who takes your power away from you. I am the one who is like a hungry beggar, always wanting more.

 
Anne Marie Bennett is a writer, self-taught artist, website goddess, cancer survivor, and SoulCollage® Facilitator / Trainer who was mentored directly by Seena Frost. In 2005, she fell in love with SoulCollage® and was inspired to use her professional experience along with Internet technology as a means to serve the world by putting SoulCollage® "out there" in a really big way with KaleidoSoul. Anne Marie lives in eastern Massachusetts with her middle-aged husband, an elderly dog and two adolescent felines who keep them all young. You can read more about how SoulCollage® assisted her on her cancer journey on her website SOS Cancer Journeys.
 
OUR NEXT TELE-CLASS
Goddess of Never Not Broken (Archetype)


60 minute SoulCollage® tele-class
with SoulCollage® Facilitator
Nancy Norbeck in New Jersey.

Monday, October 26, 2015
7 pm Eastern
 
Join Nancy Norbeck to explore Akhilanda, also known as Akhilandashvari, the goddess of Never Not Broken. This Goddess holds the energies of broken and whole, something that we experience from the moment we are born. We will explore sources of criticism, perfectionism and other shadow experiences to understand the gifts that this Goddess offers. We will interact with these concepts through a special creative process. Please bring a journal and 10-15 cards from your deck that represent shadow and light for you.

Easily Accessible from Anywhere in the World!


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Guest Columnist: Cat Caracelo

I am Cat Caracelo, M.A., a SoulCollage® facilitator, depth coach and artist from Petaluma, California, offering my work individually and in global teaching forums. This column is for all of you who are exploring your creativity and are ready to discover more depth in your SoulCollage® journey.


Addiction Dragons:
Keepers of the Light


Addiction was not active in my early home life, but I was exposed early enough through community culture, books and movies. I had a burning curiosity about inner darkness and social complexities so I seemed to be attuned to seeing and feeling the edges of experience. Bright lights and dark alleys lurked as I moved through life. The pages of Go Ask Alice captured me between fear and fascination when I was ten and the movie Tommy fascinated when I was twelve. My desire to grow up fast seduced me like a moth to a flame. My teen years welcomed use and abuse, playing with fire to offset insecurity and fear of not fitting in. Although my drug-induced highs did not become physical addiction the serious use altered my experiences and danced me to the edge.


My personal experience with addiction (compulsion, desire, pain, shame) comes and goes and sometimes stays for awhile in the realm of food. The moth to flame time of my life brought self-soothing patterns and cycles of feeling/feeding that come to the surface still, especially during times of stress.

My experience with addiction also crossed over into my marriage with some long and scary years of addiction, substance abuse behavior and recovery with my ex-husband, some of his siblings as well as two of my children (from their teens to mid-twenties). Patterns of addiction have been present in my life and the lives of those I love, and so too patterns of recovery.

Recovery in our family become a language of learning to understand addiction, to dive into the depths of our own knowing and find new ways to love our self through pain, shame and fear. Addiction is an inside job and one of the things I had to learn was how to feel pain and how to honor the pain of those I cared for, as I moved out of their way.

Pain, control, and meeting challenge with compassion, fire and "no fear" was my ‘go to’ fierce wife and mama bear stance. Convinced that knowing as much as I could to meet needs and slay dragons became my quest. Compassion, always an absolute, virtually stripped me bare. More and more often I found it hard to give and love and hold it all. To tell the truth and feel the feelings when there are needs to meet, things to know, and shadows to chase from the corners of every room, was exhausting. Hyper-alert, watchful, responsive, I was doing my best to be everything to everyone. "We are our brother’s keeper" was a self-imposed family mantra. I thought if we did enough and remained attuned to subtle shifts on behalf of one another we could prevent the worst. Sometimes we did but ultimately addiction has its own path and each person must find his or her own way with it.

With crushing consequences some of our loved ones do not make it beyond the edge of playing with fire or acute addiction, those who do must cross the abyss and enter into the journey of self, recovery and beyond. We who are on that journey face the flame of their own lost light; those of us on the edge are left bereft and confused. Trusting enough to feel the pain is part of what guides us into a place of reconnecting.

These patterns and parts of my story I came to know though creative practice, art and ritual, SoulCollage®, myth, journey and shadow work. Finding images that met the raw and active experiences of my life allowed me a safe way to articulate my emotions and I begin to understand what was mine. Only then could I hear the truth, see the truth, speak it and claim it and let it light my way.

After many years it’s still hard to tell the raw truth about my addictions and reactions, yet I know now that the dragons are not there to harm me. They move close as keepers of my light, keeping watch over the vulnerable self, facing down shame until trust and love is emboldened.

They show me the way, as does my creative practice.


Cat Caracelo, M.A. is a Depth Coach, Artist and a SoulCollage® Facilitator, trained in 2007. Cat guides, coaches, mentors individuals and leads groups worldwide, incorporating expressive arts and transformative process into all facets of her offerings. Cat is the author of Gathering Wholeness: The Art of Identifying and Exploring Parts of Self and the creator of JourneyCircles™ Creative Mapping Process and Training. Her dynamic eCourse offerings and destination retreats combine thematic journeywork and art-as-process to explore personal myth. Please visit Cat's website for information about coaching, classes, trainings and retreats.
 

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KaleidoSoul Creations
As promised, we are featuring SoulCollage® cards from our readers in each issue.

Each card below is a card that represents Addiction from one SoulCollager's Deck.




Addiction
Committee Suit
Lisa
Virginia

I am the one who let you drown in your addiction. I am the one who wants to save you now but it's too late. I am the one who refused to hold on to you. I am the one who can't let you go.




Booze – The Writing is On the Wall
Suit Unknown
Anonymous
California

I am one who drinks to keep my emotions at bay. I am strangled by the noose of my habit. I stand aloof, wine ready at my side. I am enfolded to protect myself. My wounded heart is exposed. Its wounds appear deceptively like jewels; these experiences sparkle. I am compelled to examine them from every angle. Allure, repulsion. Attraction. danger. Golden snakes entwine the bottle in a beautiful mandala. They create the maze in which I am trapped. Attracted by their splendor, I ignore their threat.




Breaking Down walls
Committee Suit
Anonymous
Massachusetts

I am the one who breaks down walls of addiction. I am the one who finds true self and stands in the soft Light of Healing. I am the one who is a gem and worth gold.




Work Addiction
Committee Suit
Anonymous

I am the one who is addicted to work. I am the one whose life is consumed by work. I am the one who is so exhausted by work I have little time or energy left over for play.




Food Addiction
Committee Suit
Lisa
Michigan

I am one who is facing challenges with knowing WHAT to eat to nourish my body, yet NOT taking action to do that! I am strangled with bad food habits that have turned into addictive behaviors.




My Son
Community Suit
Anonymous

I am the one addicted to alcohol. I am the one who started drinking for fun on a dare. I am the one who has now sunk to the depths of helpless despair. I am the one trapped in the bottle.





Mr. ED (Eating Disorder)
Suit Unknown
Danielle
Illinois

I am the one who wears sunglasses, I have been a very good friend, You don’t have to listen to me as much as you have been following my line of thinking and feeling. I have been one of the big loud bosses of you for a very long time. I would like to retire and just be there in the background from this point forward.




Please feel free to submit one of your cards for a future issue by sending a reply email to this newsletter.

Future themes include:

November: Community Suit- Grandparents
December: Love
 

KaleidoSoul Notes
KaleidoSoul Notes

Noteworthy resources for anyone interested in SoulCollage®

Facilitator TrainingsFacilitator Trainings: Information about content and dates/locations of upcoming trainings of SoulCollage® Facilitators.


SoulCollage websiteSoulCollage website - Seena Frost created the process of SoulCollage®, and this is her website.


KaleidoSoul - Spinning the fragments of your world into wholeness and beauty through SoulCollage®.


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Using SoulCollage® and creative photography we will spend seven days and six nights exploring our interior landscape. We will develop "new ways of seeing" through reflection and connection to the mystery and the wisdom of the land. Through guided meditation, mindful photography practices, SoulCollage® and focused time in nature we will immerse ourselves in creative process - nurturing our imagination and spirit, sharing insights and the emerging wisdom in sacred circle.

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We are gathering again for Beltane in Glastonbury, England for eight days in a beautiful restored farmhouse compound with a stunning view of rolling hills and the nearby Glastonbury Tor. We will be a small circle of women celebrating the rising Spring energies of this sacred place, tapping into mythic connections with visits to local and nearby sacred sites while exploring the ancient history, lore and our own mythic roots through journey work, SoulCollage® and expressive arts in our private studio space. Very limited space and six payment plans are available!

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SoulCollage® cards are made either from one's own art or from images found in materials which have been bought by or given to the SoulCollage® card maker. These collaged cards are used only for the cardmaker's own inner exploration. SoulCollage® cards are not sold, traded, bartered, or copied (except as a back-up for the cardmakers own use) as is stated in the "Principles of SoulCollage®." Where SoulCollage® cards are available to be seen by others, it is for the purposes either of demonstrating the SoulCollage® process or of sharing the cardmakers' inner process in the context of community. SoulCollage® is grateful to the artists and photographers who make this deep awakening process possible and in all ways SoulCollage® seeks to be respectful of their rights.

 
All articles in SOUL SONGS are copyrighted 2015,
by Anne Marie Bennett and
Catherine Anderson, Cat Caracelo,
Imelda Maguire, or Linda Woolfson.
Articles may be reprinted by permission only.