Grieving

November 23, 2015

Grieving

scmaggie I made this card several years ago, with somewhat of an idea that it was about depression.Ā  Soon after I made it, our dear cat Scooter died, and I went into a time of deep sadness.

In the midst of my grieving, I suddenly remembered this card that I had made.Ā  When I pulled it out of my deck and looked at it again, I was filled with the most amazing sense of surprise and peace… because of the butterfly on that silly swing which I thought looked really cool there.

Who are you? I am the one who lies down in grief, who is tired from the sadness, who doesn’t want to ever get up again.Ā  I am the one who looks into the future and sees nothing of interest.Ā  I am the one whose empty arms clutch at substitutes for what I have lost.Ā  I am the one whose grief and sadness wash over me like ocean waves.Ā  I am the one who faces away from the sunrise, although I know it is there.Ā  I am the one who is transformed through my grief, even though I resist it, even though I don’t want transformation, only sleep.

What do you want from me? I want you to let me have my sadness.Ā  I want you to remember what I have lost.Ā  I want you to not let me forget that there will always be a new sunrise, that my sorrow has a place and a meaning.

What do you have to give me? I give you permission to grieve.Ā  I give you space and time to grieve.Ā  I give you hope in the time of your grief.

 

P.S. Several months later, after embracing the fact that I grieve so deeply because I love so deeply, I added the image of the little boy with the heart.

1 thought on “Grieving”

  1. Anne Marie, thank you for sharing your beautiful card, your process, and its meanings for you. It resonates with me, as I am grievng for my partner David who died a little over a year ago. I have been depressed and telling myself that things ‘should’ be better at the one year mark, but what you wrote reminds me that grief and sadness take their own time and shape and cannot be restricted or, certainly, made to fit into a schedule, but rather, honored. Your card inspired me, and I am especially struck by the fact that you added the boy and heart at a later time. They seem so integral to the whole card that I assumed they were there from the start. It never occurred to me to do that with my Soul Collage cards! A very freeing thought. ā¤ļøIlene London

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